Sunday, June 21, 2009
Guilt and blame
I did it,that is sure.I did it,now I'm here.At the pit of guilty,honest,youth.At the bottom,I found the truth.I did it,too,it is the rest,put the demons to the test.Cannot figure,what moves me now,fear is all,I'm feeling now.Pave my path,and find my road,no body knows,of the things I've done...*Charlie*
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Charlie----
ReplyDeleteForgiveness is the most powerful experience a human being can have, but it is also often the most misunderstood. In fact, we only discover our sense of identity and value through God's pardon alone.
He never asks us to extend more grace and forgiveness, even to ourselves, than He has already given us. When we refuse to forgive ourselves (or others), we are giving ourselves higher standards of forgiveness than God. Refusing to forgive is the destruction of joy. Forgiving ourselves is taking a bold step into power.
Nothing....... Charlie is unforgiveable.
Charlie---- Something more for you.
ReplyDeletePol Pot’s torturer comes to Christ
Christopher LaPel — a Cambodian-born pastor living in Los Angeles — regularly travels to Cambodia to preach the Gospel and hold leadership training seminars.
In 1995, while in Chamkar Samrong a village in Battambang province, he met a withdrawn and gaunt man named Hang Pin, 54, who was encouraged to attend LaPel’s meetings at the urging of a friend.
After listening to LaPel’s sermons, Hang made a commitment to Christ and asked to be baptized. LaPel said this resulted in a remarkable transformation. Hang went from being withdrawn to open and laughing and concerned about how he looked. LaPel had no idea his newest disciple was the notorious leader of the Khmer Rouge secret police — Duch.
Looking back, LaPel told the Laredo Morning Times that the only hint he had of Hang Pin’s dark past was from a comment he made: “Pastor Christopher,” Hang Pin said, “I’m a sinner. I don’t think my brothers and sisters can forgive me because my sins are so deep.” [3]
After his conversion, Hang Pin returned to his village and started a church. He eventually went to work for a non government agency called the American Refugee Committee (ARC) in 1997 — all the while, maintaining his connection with LaPel and preaching the Gospel.
Matthew 11:28 Come unto me, all ye that are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
ReplyDeleteMy prayers and thoughts are with you tonight.
ReplyDeleteIf you want to talk, Just say yes and I'll be there.
Bo,though I appreciate the sentiment,I've been baptized so many times,my ears are water logged,and although this 'Promise' is what you believe,I must say that I don't share it,sorry.You can say that it's because I didn't believe strong enough,you can say whatever you want,but my experiences have always been that when someone wants something bad enough,in his/her own mind,it is there,even if it doesn't exist.It is a delusion in my opinion,because I've been brain washed with the best of them,and I refuse to be anymore.Thank you Bo.You are kind,however,and I appreciate that.*Charlie*
ReplyDeleteAlso,it's not the lack of forgiveness that stole or continues to steal my joy,it's the dirty deeds in the first place that stole the joy in me that I will never get back. Forgiving without forgetting? Not possible,I don't believe. All of our memories and feelings of memories are connected,and if a person developes PTSD,it makes these deeds even harder to forget/forgive. People should have consequences for actions,whether or not they are possitive or negative. Every action creates an equal or opposite reaction,and sometimes the reactions' ramifications can last for years,and consequences are often up to people for bad deeds repaid in full consequences. I feel like since I can't forget,neither should the victimizer be able to forget,it's just an unfortunate consequence of sadistic actions that we have to learn to accept. Justice and equality I will fight for until the bitter end,and nothing that anyone can say will change that for me.
ReplyDeleteIn time,I too will face consequences for the choices that I made,and also continue to suffer equaly and justly as I deserve. I'm no hypocrite. I'm already dead.
ReplyDelete